Wednesday, March 08, 2006

that's a fine how-de-do

It's been a week or so since my last entry. Firstly for James, the OMG was due to a messege about one of a pair of my old friends' kids. 23 is still a kid. Bad but not as bad as first relayed. Long story (8 years), local. Painful goes to miserable goes to (normal expected) rebellion, some difficulty, then discovering that the best way to get shit smeared on oneself is a genuine DIY. She got over it. The "oh good lord" was my reaction to first report of death. Kids I've known since mama and daddy got all sweaty, well...

The fine how-de-do is good ol' blogspot seems to have been thinking I don't have access to this site. Forbidden. Actually it wouldn't mattered from late last Wednesday night until yesterday. Went to town on the 23rd. One stop was wallyworld. Every critter in there was snortin', hacking, the greeter had been replaced by a kid with zits and snots. Flake City is a major-league stop on the snowbird flu route. The 87 million that pass through I-75 and I-95 each winter is even rougher than having kids in school! Yep. Been mizzable for a while. Enormous amounts of work, especially since a client did a toes-up (I hope. Otherwise I have to do it) and I can only pay 2 of my 6 bills this month. One can be delayed, Alltel can be cancelled (after 29 years), I can live w/o electricity (gotta can a lot of what's in the freezer until I run out of LPG, then wood stove time. Ever can on a wood stove? Trust me, it sucks), vehicle insurance and tag, well, I didn't drive much before anyway. The biz note is a different story. It's pegged to the dirt. All or none and I can't cover it. Been thinkin' about hanging around the Greyhound station...

* * * * * *

This came from England. I've no way to know who wrote it originally. Guy will like it!


You Might be a Redneck if......

1. Your standard of living improves when you go camping.
2. Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.
3. You've jacked up your home to look for a dog.
4. You have a relative living in your garage.
5. Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.
6. Your answering machine greeting includes a belch.
7. You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the toilet.
8. None of the tires on your van are the same size.
9. You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it. (what's wrong with that? ;o)
10. Your idea of getting lucky is passing the emissions test.
11. Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade. (we rent ours from GA)
12. Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.
13. Your dog house and your living room have the same shag carpet.
14. You've ever slow danced in the Waffle House.
15. Starting your car involves popping the hood.
16. Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.
17. You whistle at women in church.
18. You've been in a fist fight at a yard sale.
19. You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the kids in the back seat. (my mom!)
20. If you've ever fixed a broken coil primary wire on a car with a safety pin off your date's bra strap, and the date didn't think it was unusual. (Connie, I miss ya)
21. If you've got a matching set of salad bowls that all say "cool whip" on them.
22. If you take the Christmas lights on the front porch down in November, and only long enough to get them working again.
23. You've ever used duct tape to repair dental work.
24. You've unstopped a sink with a shotgun. ( got a story 'bout that. Still gives me a grin after a third of a century! )
25. Your will states your wife can't touch your money 'til she's fourteen.
26. You have to pass through a metal detector to get to a family reunion.
27. Your coffee table is also a cooler and bait tank!
28. Your mailing address includes the word "holler".
29. The first time you ever saw your wife in lingerie, you had to pay a cover charge.
30. You've sold a car to settle a bar tab.
31. The best sofa you ever had came out of a Chevrolet. (Willys Woodie actually)
32. You've ever used your bathtub as a punch bowl.
33. If you have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.
34. If you have ever used a barstool as a walker.

* * * * * *

It's been a lot of years since my first unsupervised visit to nawleans. 17 years old, a couple of buddies in a '61 Covair convertable (James's buggy wound up with a bag of bruises!), had to taste Mardi Gras! Odd to put it mildly. Kids younger than my 7 year old brother bought beer from the street vendors in front of nawlin's finest, the prostitutes of all sexes and predelictions solicited wide open, and I found out kinda late that any money should be kept in one's sock.

Somehow all three of us managed the 125 miles back home with no missing parts. Missing memory, well, dem folk in nawlins DO know how to remove that and other stuff.

Went back on business 7 years later. Lots of miles behind me, lots of good schooling, still very young. Tasted the real New Orleans for the first time. Spent 3 days beyond my mandate doing what I had become fond of doing years before and took as much of the city as possible in. The 3 days was 3 days too many. The industrial parts were equived in several port cities, the "famed" had the expected bright spots. Kinda San Francisco except (this is hard to belive) more fatalistic. Pretty patches here and there, those undoubtably turned into gated communities. The rest, well, I've been to some really shithole 3rd-world slums since. Endless. Welfare enclaves. Roll up the windows, lock the doors, and if you value your life, run all the red lights. Seems most of NO is a lot like DC, 14th and Florida. Wonder if it is still as godawful as it was between '68 and '78? Just for general information, the DC addy was the beginning of the "zone" which encompassed more than 3/4ths on my last pass.


If you've ever seen a shithole Southern city,
One-time pretty,
That's New Orleans...

And if you have to live there, that's a pity:
Man, it's shitty
In New Orleans...

It will remind you Of old tarnished slums
For a glass of wine They'll eat it till it comes

See that little Creole whore? She is nine years old...
Goin' down, in New Orleans

So if you're passin' through, I think you oughta
Stay in the Quarter:
Bag New Orleans.

And don't you wander far away from Bourbon;
Man, it's disturbin',
The real Orleans...

It will depress you, Like your mother's grave;
If you stay long, You're either dumb or brave.

See that Old Man River there? He is tryin' and tryin'
To get out
Of New Orleans...


- from Spider Robinson's mostly humorous 1992 "Lady Slings the Booze". Quote typed from the book with great care.

Is it worth a quarter of a trillion? The city that for all of my memory has used a blind jackass's butt for a compass needs to rob everybody's pocket to continue to fester? Useful services at the port. Live and school where the inevitable water won't threaten too much. Coastal plains, big rivers, fit for straw huts and evacuation. Below sea level? Safety by the blind jackass? Give it up. Grow crawdads and catfish.

- - - - - -
I just noticed I left something out. This has given me fits and sometimes in the past, have gotten kinda active. Hasn't been a pony in the barn for 20+ years so this type of crap is just amusing. Enjoy your new 'leaders'.

N.O. Public Schools 'Abysmal' Before Katrina


* * * * * *

I prefer leaving a post with something kinda nice. This last week hasn't been a lot of fun, tried to get back on my pins Sunday, worked so poorly that I couldn't get on them at all Monday. Tuesday was a 30-percenter. Today was my first "full" day. Not running on all eight unless one considers the three with really leaky valves! Finished the appointed tasks just before 5 PM, decided to hike through the woods and visit neighbors. Me, who used to scale shear rocks found self puffing after a couple of hillsides with a swamp between (swamp is easy. I like swamps! ;o). No one home except the young 'un Dr. M gave a telescope last year who I talked to about the Fall end of SMART-1. Not much chance of seeing it but I'm planning on putting the 8" telescope back together with the ISIT camera anyway. BB (stands for 'big bad') and Sky (BB's daughter by a Malemute/grey wolf) decided I was fine company. Sky gnawed on her favorite part (right elbow, has extra nutrition I guess) and BB (grey/chow), just prefers being a lap-wolf. Fine by me! Seems it was going to be a late shift so I proceeded home via the road. Many times longer, far easier for a old, broken-down man, besides, needed to check the mail anyway. Don't do that very often (mailbox is 1/3rd mile up, collects 22 pounds of dreck per month. I heat with it. BIG box). Serendipity occurred and the oldest young man came rumbling down the road at a time where we would intersect at the mutual mailbox stand. Cool. He got a med bill, I got good but really peculiar news. BB was challenged. Follow him or continue with me to go greet Rima. Rima won! I don't walk too fast these daze. She'd teleport 50 yards ahead, sit and look at me as if I'd fossilized. When I'd get within 10 yards, teleport again. She did that until we got to the earth shelter and then she followed me. Rima was, as I well knew, close to the center North line, teleports as well, and has a decidedly hostile view of strange critters (she doesn't count legs, it's HER place goddammit! ;o). t'was a wonderful get-together! Noses touch and flags wagging in the wind, then it was time to go max G! More muscles than Barry Bonds and they got them the right way ;o). By the way, if you have one of those fancy lawns, a couple of these critters will shred it in mere minutes. The radius of curvature of a 30 MPH turn is under 18 inches. Turbocharged!

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