Friday, December 31, 2004
see you next year
It's been mostly a pretty good year for those of us that have survived it. Pretty damn decent if a critter brought up from infancy with a load of shit programmed into it's head hasn't tried to bomb, shoot, or otherwise render you into fungus food. Damn nice if the 17 hurricanes missed and the tsunami went elsewhere.
Let's look on the bright side. If you're reading this, the above doesn't count. All three of my loyal readers have families, and hopefully they are still intact. Meself, well, this year I've only had to bury one old friend. Blood family hasn't reported in for many years, by now it's probably for the better.
On the very bright side, Ms. Heinz-Kerry isn't First Lady! Whew! Gawd, I sweated that possible nightmare. Do you have any idea who would have been prez? The fact that that nightmare didn't occur is reason enough for a celebration this eve of the new year. Lots of probs with GWB, lots of time to fuss and get things done better. No more politics tonight.
* * * * * *
Two hours from this typing will mark the first kiss from the mother of my children. 29 years ago. I sure miss the kids. Haven't seen either of the survivors since July 22, 1985. Last week I had 3rd-hand news my first-born got a PhD in chem from Cornell. In years past I got the same stuff with him being an undergrad at some uni somewhere in Washington state. Trust me, the various 'people searches' are about as useful as praying for rain in the Atacama. Finding number 2 son, the only one I've heard from (5 years ago) has been a true exercize in futility. If a young male reads this, whatever you do before asking the love of your life to marry you, check out HER mother. You are marrying her probably more than likely closer than your sweet young thang. My example of disaster is on the high side of the bell curve but should be shown as a lecture series in "what not to do". 'nuff
* * * * * *
Retired Rustbucket from service this afternoon. It's been parked between the shop and house since 2 Mondays past, collecting debris from the series of 'canes, minor stuff too old to occupy the 40, and the 12 gallon trash bag of household waste dating back before Halloween. The old booger lit up like a trooper and undoubtably woke up a few drunks in adjacent counties that started early. I spent the next 2 hours having a fine time talking with an old buddy at the transfer station. Good times can be had at the dump if you know the right people. I've a comment, amusing observation, but it's political. para 1 states no.
One hour from now will be the official New Year in NYC. I've a bag of good stuff to present with my comments, some already written. Some are amusing, one is something most of us wanted to know about, and another is the start of a posting that's been in the can since before I started this blog.
Right now, I'm going to put on my boots, pick up the flashlight, and hike over to where Grace Fitzgerald and I used to sit in the evening time after Jacob Arthur Bauer was born.
Let's look on the bright side. If you're reading this, the above doesn't count. All three of my loyal readers have families, and hopefully they are still intact. Meself, well, this year I've only had to bury one old friend. Blood family hasn't reported in for many years, by now it's probably for the better.
On the very bright side, Ms. Heinz-Kerry isn't First Lady! Whew! Gawd, I sweated that possible nightmare. Do you have any idea who would have been prez? The fact that that nightmare didn't occur is reason enough for a celebration this eve of the new year. Lots of probs with GWB, lots of time to fuss and get things done better. No more politics tonight.
* * * * * *
Two hours from this typing will mark the first kiss from the mother of my children. 29 years ago. I sure miss the kids. Haven't seen either of the survivors since July 22, 1985. Last week I had 3rd-hand news my first-born got a PhD in chem from Cornell. In years past I got the same stuff with him being an undergrad at some uni somewhere in Washington state. Trust me, the various 'people searches' are about as useful as praying for rain in the Atacama. Finding number 2 son, the only one I've heard from (5 years ago) has been a true exercize in futility. If a young male reads this, whatever you do before asking the love of your life to marry you, check out HER mother. You are marrying her probably more than likely closer than your sweet young thang. My example of disaster is on the high side of the bell curve but should be shown as a lecture series in "what not to do". 'nuff
* * * * * *
Retired Rustbucket from service this afternoon. It's been parked between the shop and house since 2 Mondays past, collecting debris from the series of 'canes, minor stuff too old to occupy the 40, and the 12 gallon trash bag of household waste dating back before Halloween. The old booger lit up like a trooper and undoubtably woke up a few drunks in adjacent counties that started early. I spent the next 2 hours having a fine time talking with an old buddy at the transfer station. Good times can be had at the dump if you know the right people. I've a comment, amusing observation, but it's political. para 1 states no.
One hour from now will be the official New Year in NYC. I've a bag of good stuff to present with my comments, some already written. Some are amusing, one is something most of us wanted to know about, and another is the start of a posting that's been in the can since before I started this blog.
Right now, I'm going to put on my boots, pick up the flashlight, and hike over to where Grace Fitzgerald and I used to sit in the evening time after Jacob Arthur Bauer was born.
Comments:
<< Home
Loyal reader #2 checking in - -
Ain't that kid as cute as a bug in a rug? And it seems from the "3rd party reports" that the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.....PhD in Chem! Yep, that's about right.
Clean up the mess from the 'canes....start anew...have a better year. Things are looking up I think. What's been programmed can be deprogrammed you know!
Suzanne
Ain't that kid as cute as a bug in a rug? And it seems from the "3rd party reports" that the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.....PhD in Chem! Yep, that's about right.
Clean up the mess from the 'canes....start anew...have a better year. Things are looking up I think. What's been programmed can be deprogrammed you know!
Suzanne
# posted by 
: 11:25 AM
: 11:25 AM
What loyal reader number am I? I'll take the number 3 spot, tyvm.
You just have to be proud, Rev. I'm so glad you got this news no matter how it was filtered to ya.
Adorable pic,btw. I remember those kiddie sunglasses! My son, who is just a tad bit younger than your son, had a pair just like them. In fact they could be twins. I almost fell off my chair when I first saw this pic! I'll send you the pic when I find time to dig it out.
My evil ex took my kids away from me for 3 years and 27 days a long time ago. To this day, I don't know how I got through those years. I was on auto-pilot, I think. How love can turn into hate so quickly,, will always befuddle me and I will never understand it. Using one's children to abuse an ex, I have seen enough to understand whether I wanted to or not. It's difficult to understand someone with so much vegence running through their veins. The card, "If you love me, you will hate your father/mother with me" is played out more often than we think.
It was a dark time for me. My suffering started to manifest it's way to a point that my short term memory would fail. i.e. I would ask what day it was often, I would forget my own phone number. Eventually, I went to see my doctor. I will never forget what he said. He felt that in his experience, these things don't seem to resolve until that child of yours has a child. So I prepared for the worse and hoped for the best. All the while feeling beaten and defeated that the brain-washer(my ex) would win. What kind of victory someone gains from keeping thier children from their mother/father is beyond my scope of comprehension.
So, there is a part of me that undertstands what you are going through but no where near the level you have endured. I know the level of greif and betrayal but mine only lasted 3 years. I have great hope that this will have more resolution in the future for you. Possibly when they have children of their own, like my doc predicted. I pray for this regularly.
That was ten years ago for me. One child saw through all the bs and figured it out on her own. She chooses not to risk having a relationship with her father. It must of been very painful for her to come to this relization. The young man, however, will try to "fix" his dad forever. He was taught so much self loathing and seems to be he11 bent on following in his dad's footsteps by being as self destructive as possible. We'll see how that works out for him.
I do know that the question these children who get dragged into these situations face seems insurmountable to me, sometimes. Oh, the horrible choice they face! "Was my mother truthful and righteous by keeping me away from my dad by the reasons she gave me or did she lie just to keep me away from my dad due to her own hatred?"
I don't envy any child that has to answer that question. I have one child who faced it head on. I have one who pretends the question doesn't exist. His denial tortures him and he is in a constant state of self destruction.
Pray for them everyday Rev, that's all you can do.
~di
Post a Comment
You just have to be proud, Rev. I'm so glad you got this news no matter how it was filtered to ya.
Adorable pic,btw. I remember those kiddie sunglasses! My son, who is just a tad bit younger than your son, had a pair just like them. In fact they could be twins. I almost fell off my chair when I first saw this pic! I'll send you the pic when I find time to dig it out.
My evil ex took my kids away from me for 3 years and 27 days a long time ago. To this day, I don't know how I got through those years. I was on auto-pilot, I think. How love can turn into hate so quickly,, will always befuddle me and I will never understand it. Using one's children to abuse an ex, I have seen enough to understand whether I wanted to or not. It's difficult to understand someone with so much vegence running through their veins. The card, "If you love me, you will hate your father/mother with me" is played out more often than we think.
It was a dark time for me. My suffering started to manifest it's way to a point that my short term memory would fail. i.e. I would ask what day it was often, I would forget my own phone number. Eventually, I went to see my doctor. I will never forget what he said. He felt that in his experience, these things don't seem to resolve until that child of yours has a child. So I prepared for the worse and hoped for the best. All the while feeling beaten and defeated that the brain-washer(my ex) would win. What kind of victory someone gains from keeping thier children from their mother/father is beyond my scope of comprehension.
So, there is a part of me that undertstands what you are going through but no where near the level you have endured. I know the level of greif and betrayal but mine only lasted 3 years. I have great hope that this will have more resolution in the future for you. Possibly when they have children of their own, like my doc predicted. I pray for this regularly.
That was ten years ago for me. One child saw through all the bs and figured it out on her own. She chooses not to risk having a relationship with her father. It must of been very painful for her to come to this relization. The young man, however, will try to "fix" his dad forever. He was taught so much self loathing and seems to be he11 bent on following in his dad's footsteps by being as self destructive as possible. We'll see how that works out for him.
I do know that the question these children who get dragged into these situations face seems insurmountable to me, sometimes. Oh, the horrible choice they face! "Was my mother truthful and righteous by keeping me away from my dad by the reasons she gave me or did she lie just to keep me away from my dad due to her own hatred?"
I don't envy any child that has to answer that question. I have one child who faced it head on. I have one who pretends the question doesn't exist. His denial tortures him and he is in a constant state of self destruction.
Pray for them everyday Rev, that's all you can do.
~di
# posted by : 8:50 AM
: 8:50 AM << Home
